Going Solo: Single Parenthood

Everything is Amazing

“I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.”

― Louis CK

My daughter woke me up this morning with wonderful sounds of coos and sighs. It is the best alarm clock on the planet. I never knew such beautiful sounds could come out of the same little being that farts like a middle aged man and pukes on every outfit I own.

For the first 30 minutes of my day, I just watched her. With her eyes crossed, she was looking down at her chest at the pattern on her sleeper. It was amazing. It was just a pattern on clothing, but to an infant, this was entertainment that lasted for several minutes. next, she moved onto the ceiling. Once again, she spent several minutes in wonder of the stark white ceiling before her. She made sounds similar to those we make when we watch the grand finale of fireworks. The shadows and sunbeams dancing across the ceiling were no less extravagant to her. From there, she turned her head and was instantly mesmerized by the mesh wall of her co-sleeper bassinet. I can only imagine how exotic this nylon piece of fabric covered in holes seems to someone who just spent ten months floating in a dark warm bag of nothing but amniotic fluid. from there, she turned her head once again and faced me. She examined my forehead and hair and slowly moved her eyes down until they locked with mine. She immediately smiled filling her face with joy as her eyes shut tight, her mouth spread from ear to ear, and she let out an excited squeal.

Somewhere between iPads, iPods, and television, we have lost sight of how truly amazing EVERYTHING is. I am the first to be guilty of this. I am glued to my computer at work while checking my Facebook on my iPhone, blaring my Spotify playlist in the background. I get in my car and turn on the radio until I get home and plop in front of the TV with my lap top in my lap and my iPhone at my side. I often find myself in a room full of people, interesting people, all of whom are looking down at their smartphones and barely communicating.

When did we all reach the point when sun rays on the ceiling and patterns on our clothes were no longer infinitely entertaining? Being with my daughter 24/7 and watching as she is in awe of things as simple as a couch cushion makes me realize that I have reached a point that is so far from organic that I’m practically a robot. She is helping me remember just how incredible everything in life really is!

The clay pot in front of me on my mom’s shelf was once dirt and was mixed with water. Then, someone took the time and used their talents to form it into a pot with a lip. They then painted it and etched my Father’s name around the outside. Finally they heated the pot so it would harden and so my dad’s name would be permanently there. That pot was then used in a memorial service with other pots. They filled it with water and poured the water out to symbolize my father’s life and his passing into a new life. The pot now sits on a shelf above the TV in my mom’s living room. It and its story is and always will be much more fascinating and meaningful to me than any crazy reality show or story about people trapped inside a dome that is pumped out of the big black box below it. It took this magnificent cooing creature to come into my life to make me realize this.

Once again, I am perpetually grateful to have her in my life.